I eat my refrigerated Orange chick
What will the next 2 weeks
I decided to get away from Herrin for the time being. Some consider it part of my "vacation" i'm taking, some say I just want to hang with the fam for a bit, I call it rehab.
Herrin and the surrounding towns have done nothing to me but teach me how to drink more, party harder, and make dumb ass decisions. I love the people I have met there, don't get me wrong, but I have had enough and just REALLY had to get away. Not for the hell of it but for my well being. I'm going to be straight up with whomever might lay their eyes on this here. As of, I don't know, 2 weeks? 3 weeks? ago, one day hasn't gone by where I don't drink. For the last two weeks I have drank pretty much every day. I HATE that. More than anything. My GOD I just want to stop. I get really depressed and just drink. I call friends and what are THEY doing......drinking.....so I drink. I wake up the day after I drank and guess what I want......a glass of water. Hahahaha....got ya. It's just become a repetitive thing that REALLY doesn't need to be happening. So I left the area that was doing this to me and came home.
I came home to be with old friends and great family.
I came home to "rehab".
I'm actually happy here for a change. I don't have to pretend to be happy here. I just have to......be.
They say home is where the heart is. Well I have 2 homes. Where is my heart? Torn between the two? Am I a freak with 2 hearts that I keep in a jar at each place....maybe. Some would say, mostly ex girlfriends of mine, would say I don't have a heart so both are imposable.
So where is my heart?
It's here.....with me. Where ever I go.
Now if you will excuse me. I have some orange chicken to finish and some songs to write.
love and peace to you all,
Steven
1 comment:
I'm glad to hear that you are trying to stop drinking, it may take some time and patience but I have confidence that you can do without it.I stopped going to the places like bars where there's nothing else to do & found things to do that don't involve drinking. I'm also not around some people and situations anymore that make me feel like I want to. It feels lonely or boring occasionally but that's how life is sometimes. there's good and bad. I have learned that life is worth living without medicating myself with substances that may cause me to make bad decisions or harm myself. I have also realized that by my own choices I can create or destroy my own happiness. anyway I'm proud that you are trying to do that but even if you relapse at times don't give up...just try again.
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